Curtis Sledge and Mike Hammer are good friends who love to fly fish. They have been on many fly fishing trips including several misadventures. For example, one summer day Mike, Curtis and this cute young blonde in a brown bikini went fly fishing the coast for redfish. As usual, Mike has a little too much to drink. He gets up to get another beer, loses his balance and falls out of the boat. The young blonde says, ?What should we do?" Curtis says, "You better jump in after him, he's been under water for a while, he might need some help." So she jumps in, and after some time, she surfaces. She says, "Curtis, help me get him in the boat." They wrestle Mike back into the boat (he is a big ol boy you know). The girls says, "Oh no... what do we do now, it doesn't look like he's breathing." Curtis says, "You'd better give him mouth to mouth, cuz I sure aint" So she then puts her mouth over Mik'es mouth and starts to blow air into into his cold body. She soon sets up and says, "Whoa, I don't remember Mike having such bad breath." Curtis says, "Come to think of it, I don't think Mike was wearing a three piece suit, either." A few years later, Mike and Curtis went on a fly fishing trip deep into the Colorado wilderness. They hiked for hours and then set up camp. Neither one of them being in the best physical condition (remember, they?re pretty big ol? boys) they were completely exhausted. They decided to wait until morning to fish. So, after their tent was all set up, they crawled in and fell sound asleep.

A few hours later, Mike wakes up. He then wakes up Curtis and says, "Hey wader breath, look towards the sky and tell me what you see?"

Curtis replies, "I see millions of stars."

"OK? What does that tell you?" asked Mike.

Curtis ponders for a minute, and then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially millions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past two in the morning.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Curtis then asks, ?What's it tell you, Mike?"

Mike is silent for a moment, then says, "Curtis, you idiot. Someone stole our tent." The following year, Mike and Curtis go on another fly fishing and camping trip. They pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer? lots of beer. After five hours of hiking, and dragging that cooler, they arrive at a great spot. It?s a nice level campsite next to a pristine trout stream. As they began to set up camp, they realize they?ve forgotten a bottle opener. Curtis turns to Mike and says, "You?ve gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says Mike. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food." (Remember? these are two pretty big ol? boys)

"I promise I won?t," says Curtis. "Just hurry!" So Mike leaves. Curtis keeps his word.

Three full days pass and there?s still no sign of Mike. Exasperated and starving, Curtis finally digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, Mike pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! That settles it? I?m not going!" Two years ago, Mike and Curtis decided that they wanted to fly fish the Alaskan wilderness again this year. They got a pilot to fly them into the far north to one of the best Alaskan trout streams.

They were quite successful in their venture and kept a huge amount of fish. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the many large bags of fish. But the pilot objected and said, "My plane can only handle a certain amount of weight. You two are pretty big ol? boys? so with all of your gear and all that fish? I'm afraid the plane can?t handle it." He then said "You can only load two bags of fish... you will have to leave the rest behind for the bears." Mike and Curtis both argued with the pilot. Mike said, "the year before we kept this many fish and the pilot allowed us to put them all on board." "Yea? and the plane was the same model and capacity as this one" said Curtis.

Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all the fish on board. But when they attempted to take off, and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, Mike asked Curtis, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied Curtis. "I think this is about the same place where we crashed last year!" Finally, a short while ago, Mike and Curtis were fishing their special creek off the beaten track. The stream was loaded with Brookies and they were slamming dry flies all day long. This was dry fly fishing at its best.

Mike and Curtis were having the time of there lives when suddenly, out of the bushes, jumped the Game Warden!!!

Immediately, Mike threw down his fly rod and started running through the woods as fast as he could go. Now this was a site to see? remember, Mike is a pretty big ol? boy. He was thrashing through the brush like an ape gone wild? and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.

After about a half mile Mike stopped and stooped over with one hand on his thigh and the other on his chest trying to catch his breath. The Game Warden finally caught up to him.

?Lets see yer fishin license, Boy? the Warden gasped.

With that, Mike pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

?Well, Mike?, said the Game Warden, ?You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks!!! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!?

?Yes Sir?, replied Mike, ?But my friend Curtis back there, well, he don't have one?...

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